Judy Garland's Suicide Attempts.

 
 

October 12th, 2008

Santa Cruz, California

Received by FAB

I am here, Judy Garland.

Let me write about my suicide attempts. Yes, as you have suspected, they did make me suffer very much over here. That was the most difficult struggle over here. It landed me in darkness, and for awhile, I really was lost.

But I had goodness in my soul. You sensed that in my acting and singing. You, and many others, have felt from me a great endearing warmth, and that was in me, and it was sincere. I felt that performing gave me a chance to bring joy to others. I was not able to manage my personal life successfully, and that was more than partially because of the unfair pressures of the studio world of show business, and what followed.

So yes, as you have known, a suicide attempt, though it may be unsuccessful, is a very serious offense. I wish I had known that on earth. But I struggled and took the advice of a beautiful Angel diligently. My goodness of heart combined with a great longing to be free of my darkness, and so as a result, I was successful, and happiness became mine. I was very energetic in pursuit of happiness because on earth, I had the same intense desire for happiness, which always eluded me.

At first, the spirit world was a great shock, but after I got my bearings, I saw I could escape my prison of darkness. I was told how to do it, and I followed through. I had always been an aspiring soul. This was partially thwarted by my confusion, and by the unfair pressures of a show business career. But I never lost that spark of hope that one day, I would find happiness and peace.

We spirits are not eternally doomed to darkness. That was the very first thing that sweet Angel told me. He said it with such great conviction that I just had to believe. Of course, at first, the struggle was very difficult. But as I persisted in praying for God's Love (for that was the method of escape from my misery that he explained to me), certain changes occurred within me. This process accelerated - the more I tried, the easier it became. I know you tend to doubt that such a serious sin as a suicide attempt could be remedied so relatively quickly, but progress depends on a spirit's will, and if the will is strong, as mine was, then success is faster. It was my passionate desire for happiness and peace, which was continually thwarted on earth, which was the motor that drove me, for I perceived that I had a chance to possess what was never mine - a lifetime of frustrated yearning pushed me to exert myself, until the prize was mine. And how grateful I was that finally, what I yearned for came true.

 
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