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October 13th, 2009
Santa Cruz, California
Received by FAB
I am here, Richard Rodgers.
You are coming to the end of reading my biography [by Meryle Secrest],
and your eyes are now open to what I was on Earth. Yes, I died an
atheist and an alcoholic, and there was much in my soul that was
out of harmony.
But you also read that in my inner life, I had a great deal of
sensitivity and richness, and this is also true. I tapped this source
to find the ideas in my music. I had said it was just a craft, but
I have learned better.
I read your thoughts very well, and you are struggling with doubt
about what I channeled through you six years
ago. You reason that the sort of progress I referred to would
have been impossible given my mental and soul state when I first
entered this world of spirits. So let me tell you my story, and
when I am through, I guarantee you will feel better.
Before I start, let me say that I sympathize with you. It is always
hard to learn the cold hard facts about someone we revere.
Well, my dying was extremely difficult, as you can imagine. I
declined over a period of time, and then I knew my time had come.
But then, something extraordinary happened inside me, which I
had never experienced before. Despite my despair and misery, there
was something else - a hope that maybe, just maybe, I was wrong,
and death was not the end, and that I might continue to live. And
as my thoughts revolved in my head, I thought I saw deceased relatives
right in my room! I didn't tell a soul because I felt they would
think me crazy! Indeed, I thought I had gone batty myself.
But these visions persisted long enough for me to know that they
were real. I was astounded. And what was so wonderful is that I
was isolated toward the end because I wanted it that way, so this
enabled me to experience these supernatural things in private.
And then, these phantoms spoke to me, and I knew they were truly
those I had loved and known. They told me not to be afraid, and
that soon, I would join them. This was facilitated by the fact that
they also appeared in my dreams at that time, so the transition
was made a lot easier. It was as if I had a new lease on life. There
I was dying, an atheist who had no hope whatsoever beyond the grave,
and now, there was at least something I could hold onto.
And at last, death came, and instead of a horrible, cold, dirty
nothing, I experienced the most beautiful thing - a beautiful place,
with people I had loved. I was told, after a considerable time,
that this was only temporary, and that I would go to a different
place. They were right. And then, my earth life came back to me,
and I suffered.
Now, when I was dying, the spirits of relatives who appeared before
me got me thinking. If such a wondrous thing could be, was it then
possible that there was a God? I saw very clearly that the reason
why I disbelieved was because I saw no proof of such a thing. I
saw so much injustice, so much pain, and just couldn't swallow what
I thought was nonsense.
But now, here I was, and I pondered and pondered. I must say that
my lifetime of atheism weighed on me like a heavy yoke that dragged
me down and almost suffocated me. I went through an unbearable conflict
between this and a newborn perception that maybe I was wrong. Oh,
I struggled bitterly! I did not think I could resolve this battle
successfully.
As I struggled and then almost despaired, an Angel came to me.
She was so beautiful, and she told me that I had been observed all
my life. She narrated certain incidents in my life and people I
had known, and I knew this was not something she could have gotten
from the fame that surrounded me. No, these were intimate, personal
things I had told no one.
After this experience, I felt a new lightness inside me. Her effect
was to dissolve the burden of disbelief that dogged me, and I felt
liberated. I also recognized a strong tendency to want to believe,
even though my mind had told me I couldn't.
And then I thought about my music. I was keenly aware of the wonderful
things that had been said about it on Earth, and it was frankly
exhilarating to be so acknowledged. And I realized, how could this
magic have happened? For that's what it was, magic. Your own response
to my music is what so many others have felt.
I wasn't particularly vain or egocentric, and so I was able to
consider that maybe something higher had gripped me when I composed
those songs. Maybe it was more than craft, as I had believed.
And then, when I had some time to ponder this, the same Angel
came to me again to tell me that there was indeed more, and that
despite my disbelief and my many personal problems, I had been carefully
prepared to be a Divine instrument. Yes, that's right - an alcoholic
atheist became God's tool.
After this discussion, I was astounded. I never thought of myself
in that light, but how could the Angel have been wrong, when she
had told me certain things about myself that I had never told a
soul?
But before I continue, let me comment on my
earlier channeling. I said there, "when we [Oscar Hammerstein
and I] came over here, we were blessed beyond our wildest dreams.
And this is because our motive was love."
Well, you are now aware that it wasn't just love on my part; it
was also a tough career, where we had to produce to survive. As
you know, show business can be very cruel, and I did see it as a
business for self-preservation.
But I also saw it as liberation and self-expression. Mixed in
with the other stuff was that golden nugget, a desire to improve
the world by showing it that there was goodness as well as cruelty
and injustice. In fact, I wanted to share both, in order to affirm
a positive vision of humanity. I saw my crowning glory in my musical
Carousel, where great cruelty and selfishness meet great love.
You have read that toward the end, I started screaming, "Get
her out of here!" That's when I first saw the spirits. My mind
had been unhinged by the medication and pills they were giving me,
so I really wasn't in normal reality at all.
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