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January 29th, 2008
Melbourne Australia
Received by Nicholas Arnold.
I thank you for this time to clarify and make known a little on
the events that transpired all those years ago; my desire is to
convey the essence of the events.
Firstly, I loved Jesus. I loved him with my full heart's capacity
and knowing that I had been chosen to be one of 'those closest by
his side' was more than I could have ever asked for in my normal
life. Those of us who served with him and along side him related
to him in our own unique way and in this way, we formed our relationships
with him and he with us.
If there was one witness that I had, it was ambition and it was
with this ambition that I construed an agenda of my own. It was
actually, and this is very important to be known, out of love and
my love for Jesus that ignited my ambition. It was not a form of
denial working against the Truth and Jesus' way and teachings that
my actions eventuated and it is good to have said this and to make
this known. I did not act out of anything other than love and this
is why my own fall was so heavy. It is one thing to work against
another knowing that one is endeavouring to do this - where the
error is blatantly seen and the world is familiar with this form
of action; where an individual is trying to do the right and just
and good action whilst another who appears with this individual
in agreement is actually trying to bring about the downfall of the
goodness and the man. My action was out of love and from love this
made the event even more difficult to understand for it is obvious
when error is being created, which is not out of love, but when
an error is being created because one loves so much - then this
brings into play a very different set of circumstances.
I, in my love for Jesus, with my ambition over a period of time
in his public ministry, construed the idea that Jesus was great
and that the Kingdom was glorious and that all were far less than
this Kingdom and that no harm could ever come to the man Jesus for
he was at the centre of God's Kingdom which was to become mortal
and thus he would sit at the centre of God's Kingdom on Earth, and
bring to ruin, in fact raze the existing powers to be, that were
so detrimental and contrary to Jesus' teachings of Love. In my own
mind this is what I thought and in my own feelings I couldn't stand
the humiliation that Jesus had to endure by those in positions of
power passing judgment on the Truth when in actual fact it should
be from Jesus that they submit their will to.
What I have realised is that in my experience as a man at that
time, I only saw the competitive and ambitious outlay of man against
man and I did not have the vision to hear the teachings of Jesus
about the Father and so in my ambition, my living was purely mortal
without bringing the Father into the experience. By doing what I
did, it was not a betrayal, for I sincerely thought that by setting
the agenda, Jesus would triumph and the powers to be would have
to submit their will to the Kingdom of God and Jesus' will.
Once the wheels were in motion they could not be stopped. The extraordinary
thing was, that Jesus knew me better than I knew myself and although
he knew that I loved him as I had loved no other man or woman, he
knew of my ambition because he had seen the way I had acted when
in humiliating circumstances. Our time was very brutal at times
and love seemed very far away. I could not stand seeing how brutal
people could be and in my love for Jesus, I thought he could put
an end to it by defeating those in power who were creating such
brutality and suffering.
Jesus did not utilise the resource of his own will to prevent me
from acting out my will. He did not control events and so I put
my ambition in play and yet it was this ambition that made me blind
to the ambitions of others who wanted to see and bring about the
end of Jesus so that their positions of power remained as they were.
This is all about the power of will trying to win itself over the
Love and Truth of Love.
When Jesus did not respond in the way in which my ambitions had
planned for, I became gutted. The grief in my soul recognised instantly
that I had done the wrong thing and I had no power to stop it. Jesus
standing in the Father's Love and in the Love of all humanity demonstrated
his living of Love and the Father's Will in the workings of the
Truths of this Love at this time and this was the Kingdom of God.
Those who desired his downfall were beating their wills against
the Father's Kingdom and Jesus only remained in Love.
I was utterly beside myself and although I had received Divine
Love in the times that I was with Jesus, when I died, the condition
of my soul was true to the condition of error that I created and
thus was subject like all souls in error, to the workings of the
Laws that all souls in spirit are ultimately subject to. In spirit,
I immediately was attracted to the First of the darkened Spheres
and there I was left in my condition grieving at the events that
transpired. All of this was a real shock to me for the once happy
days on Earth when we shared our intimate good times together at
night around fires and the whole inspirational reality of all that
was taking place … was gone. In my condition I wondered what
had happened to everyone and where they were. I did not know of
the Divine Love Spheres or Celestial Heavens for I never paid much
attention to this when with Jesus on Earth, for in my eyes the whole
reality was going to be a mortal reality.
My own soul was subject to the conditions that all natural souls
are subject to, and just because I was with Jesus, this did not
grant any particular favour with the Father. The truth is that as
a spirit, I could not forgive myself. This was the penalty that
I suffered for many an Earth year. I did not know what I could do
because I did know that I would not forgive myself and this was
the punishment of my compensation. I had set this condition in place
by myself. Even though my transgression from the act of my will
as a man violated one of the Father's Laws and Jesus was the individual
I violated, I did not - I was not - given any greater force of suffering
by the Father for one cause was sufficient and equal to the amount
of error that I had created.
I was so ashamed of myself and so traumatised by my actions that
I spent a long time in isolation in this Sphere unable to communicate
with anyone. I did not want to see Jesus for I was too ashamed and
I did not want to see any of the apostles for I was too ashamed.
In my mind I recognised I had done the wrong thing and my guilt
was that I had ruined the whole Kingdom and yet I loved him so much.
After this long time, a beautiful spirit came and visited me for
they all knew where I was, even when I did not know where they were,
these friends of mine in the days with Jesus. It was Mary Magdalene
who came to my side and I could hardly look at her; such was the
sinful and depraved look that I had in the way about myself. Mary
spoke to me with such love and oh, how I wanted to go with her and
be with her. In my condition when she left after her visits I could
not go with her. In Mary's visits she spoke to me, as spirits do,
about the events that unfolded on Earth after I had died; these
were crushing blows to my soul and she loved me.
The spirit body reflects sadness … a sadness that is in a
lost soul. The spirit body is dim, this is how I looked to Mary
and her spirit body was soft, bright and beautiful; a Heavenly radiance
that I could barely lay my eyes upon. I remember her touching my
spirit body and I felt this and then she said those words that glided
through my darkness and these words were: "The Father Loves
you and so does Jesus, now do as I do and pray for Divine Love.
Pray for this Love for it is the way for you". We spoke at
lengths about this Love and I realised that this was new to me as
my life on Earth was about the material Kingdom that was to be coming.
This Love I did not understand and it took me quite a while to comprehend
the simplicity of It. Mary taught me of the Father's Soul and that
this Love was the living Truth of the Kingdom and I contemplated
her teachings and recognised that her example and beauty was a confirmation
in all that she was sharing was true. I began praying for this Love,
however it was difficult at first for in my condition I did not
feel worthy to be Loved by the Father, for I had committed such
an unworthy act whilst on Earth. Eventually enough of the Love permeated
my soul and the New Birth had begun and thus I began learning the
true teachings of Jesus that I was not listening to when on Earth.
Forgiveness of my soul I found, and I found that the Father had
forgiven me. I had paid the penalty of my actions in full. This
took quite a while and slowly the influence of the Love revealed
to me the Truth about the truth of Jesus and his relationship with
the Father and to all mortals and spirits. On Mary's last visit
another beautiful soul was with her, and as they drew close I could
see that it was Jesus the beautiful spirit and the one whom I once
knew. When they arrived I still found it difficult to look at him
yet when I did, I said to him "do you forgive me, I ask for
your forgiveness", and his reply was "yes, the Father
has forgiven you and in you I can only love". He helped me
up and said come with me and with Mary we moved to the First Divine
Love Sphere where I was greeted by all those with whom I had lived
on Earth. My humility was the silence as the apostles and disciples
gathered around and welcomed my love in the presence of the Father's.
This reunion was truly Divine.
Gradually I ascended into the Celestial Heavens and my journey
is complete and Love is as it is, and is perfect now. Upon entering
the Celestial Heavens I looked back at the journey of my life as
a man and as a dark spirit, and I could see how in all the drama,
there was the Father always present and always to Love. In all of
this I found Mary Magdalene to be my soul-mate and we are together
and it was her, my beautiful love who first came to me when I could
not even look upon myself. It made sense that Mary would come to
me for I could not and did not want to receive anything from the
apostles in the time back on Earth. My condition was such that I
would not have listened to the Truth of the Father's Love for I
knew what I had done and the pain in my soul was my cross to bear.
It was Mary and her love that reached me and for this I am forever
grateful, for Mary introduced me to the Father's Divine Love and
is with me here now as I convey this message.
I work still with Jesus and love him as I did on Earth, only now
I understand what the true Kingdom of God is and how the Father
is at the centre of all, even when in our natural condition we may
not know this. My love for the Father is supreme and the dramas
of all those years ago are not drama in these Celestial Heavens
now. All those days have been forgiven and together in our love
for the Love, we serve.
Thank you very much for this availability to write of Love.
Judas Iscariot
The original message where Judas is reported to have said Andrew
had helped him out of the hells, is here.
It is sad to discover that this is an error, but the mention in
this message that Mary Magdalene and Judas are soulmates is a larger
upset, as two different mediums have previously chanelled that Jesus
and Mary Magdalene are soulmates. That issue is addressed on two
further messages, one from Mary Magdalene
and one from Gabriel.
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