True Gospel Revealed Anew By Jesus. Volume 3
Sarah J. Wilson, an abortionist, realizes only too late the great wrong she performed on earth and is seeking help.
Received by James Padgett.
I am here, Sarah J. Wilson.
Let me write as I need help so very much. I am in darkness and suffering.
When on earth I was a woman who tried to make my living by doing that which God and man both condemned as against nature and all the provisions for perpetuating the world. I was an abortionist and caused many a premature birth, or the destruction of that which if it had been permitted to gestate would have been a human being. So you see my deeds were so very evil; and since I have been in the spirit world I have realized the enormity of them.
Of course, when I committed these acts I knew that I was doing wrong, and committing in many cases murder. But the desire to make money was so great that my crimes did not appear to me in all their nakedness and enormity. But now I see them face to face, and I realize that I am of all wretches the most wretched. I have never known a moments peace since I have been a spirit, and it seems to me that I have been such a spirit for centuries and centuries.
No ray of light ever comes to me and no word of love or sympathy. My associates are just like myself, steeped in sin of one kind or another and never a ray of hope comes to us. I wonder sometimes why I was ever born and why I cannot die and forever be annihilated. But that consolation is not mine. I must live and suffer and pay the penalties of my deeds done in the body.
I thought that I was a kind hearted woman in most of the affairs of life, and I believe that my neighbors so considered me. I often helped the poor and fed the hungry, and spoke words of kindness to the distressed, and I really thought that I was a good woman. But now, how useless all these deeds of apparent kindness seem to me, for they do not weigh a grain of sand to a mountain in my favor. So you see the great sins that I committed have no way of being blotted out. I wish that I had never been born.
Well, sometimes I am told that some of the little children who live in higher lands are the children whom I deprived of the earth life. I, of course, do not know, but some spirits tell me this, and when I learn this it helps me some to think that even though I deprived them of their earthly existence, yet they are alive in a brighter and happier land. But this is not sufficient to relieve me of my sufferings. I killed them when on earth and I had no right to do it.
I am being punished. And even when on earth I tried to make myself believe that there was no hell. I know now that there is a hell and that I am in it, and believe that I will never get out of it.
Well I could tell you of many instances of my sinning but it will do no good. I feel that I have told you enough to arouse your pity, and that if you can help me you will.
I was married but had no children and sometimes I think that if I had had children of my own I would not have engaged in the business of destroying others. But now it is too late and I must suffer.
I will do anything that you tell me, and will try to believe and follow the advice that may be given me. Only do something for me.
I have asked for Mrs. Salyards and a beautiful spirit comes to me, and put her arm around me and says “you are my sister in trouble and a child of God just as I am, and he loves you just as he loves me so come with me and I will love you and try to show you the way to light and happiness.” So I am going.
Oh, dear friend, I thank you and with all my heartfelt tears and gratitude I say good night,
Sarah J. Wilson.