New birth

Messages 2013

Understanding a Fanatic.

September 5th, 2013

Berkeley, California

Received by FAB

 

I am here, John Wilkes Booth.

I am here today to clarify a seeming contradiction. In my channeling of December 31, 2005, I said that when I was hunted as a fugitive, it caused me to change. But you have just read, in Fifty Years in the Church of Rome by Charles Chiniquy, that I was unrepentant to the end. So then this seems like a contradiction. I would like to explain.

Yes, I felt I had rid the world of a miscreant and a blasphemer. That did not change. But when I was pursued, I came to see that I had taken a life, and not just any life: the life of a man who had enormous influence.

The seeming contradiction resides in two contradictory ideas: that I had done God’s will, and that I was a murderer. This latter feeling was intensified by the fact that I was a fugitive being hunted for taking a life of significance. I justified my murder because it was my nature to do so, but I could not escape either the finality of my deed or the great possibility of retribution after death.

You are confused by all this - so was I! The confusion will be clarified by the fact that I was both a fanatic, and also a mortal who was given by God a conscience to know the difference between right and wrong. I had to defend the murder in my own eyes because that’s human nature. But it is also human nature to realize the consequences of the deed.

And so, when release came, and I entered the next life, the whole thing appeared very differently. It was clear to me, from the unspoken words and certain glances of the kind spirits who greeted me, that I had done evil, for which I had to suffer.

You are not a fanatic, so it’s hard for you to understand. When a fanatic commits a deed, that fanatic has to justify the awful deed. It is true that this continues over here. But in my case, it didn’t. Yes, I justified murder till the end. But there was also a change on a more profound level. This change was subtle and not wholly conscious. It was this deeper change I was referring to.

You know from experience that illness and suffering cause people to change. This happened to the fanatic John Wilkes Booth, who could not escape his conscience, which told him that murder is one of the worst sins to atone for. So yes, I professed an unchanging facade, but on another level, I was no longer convinced I had done the right thing. This shows you the complex nature of humanity, how we can hold contradictory states. So both realities were true, and the contradiction is explained. I am happy to offer this explanation to one who loves only the truth.

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